I am a bully poem9/11/2023 ![]() ![]() essentials for everyone to thrive healthily. assuring and ensuring your sense of self esteem and worthiness!. Kudos! Seems you really got a lot off your chest and I imagine the process of writing this was very cathartic for you. It will take you far and beyond anything that was done, said or given to you in your hurtful past and guide you through your continued journey. I pray you find peace and joy in your life Courtney.ĭancesWithWords - Wow! This must have taken a lot of courage for you to dig deep and wave your swordly pen to write this. Like I said above, I am not trying to preach or convert you I just wanted share my life with you so you could see that there is an answer and a way. I needed to forgive them not for their benefit but for mine. family, friends and all of those bullies. He lead me to forgive all of those who hurt me. I am not going to sugar coat it and tell you that my life turned all joy and roses but I will tell you is that He began changing me day by day. He took my hardened heart that was full of hate, feelings of unworthiness and turned it into a free one!! I asked Him into my life at a time when I was heading down a path of my own self destruction. I just want to offer you an answer to all that ails you. Unconditional, extravagant love!! I am not going to preach to you or try to convert you or anything. The only answer to all of these things is love. Hate cannot negate hate, only make it stronger. I felt the same of all of my hurt and pain that those who put me down, left me out and made me feel worthless created. I disagree whole heartedly that this is true!! All brokenness can be mended and all "feelings" can change. I hate that you feel that you're "broke beyond repair". It is something that stays with you for the rest of your life. It is a very cold, lonely and awful place to be. ![]() Oh sweetheart I have been at this very place and felt every pain you felt. ![]() What you did to me broke me beyond repair. You made me feel worthless- empty- fat- alone- tired- depressed- fed up- ugly and dumb. I’m done trying to be brave- pretending none of this ever happened. I was depressed and alone- thinking I had nobody. You were slowly killing my spirit and in turn- killing me. If I had of eaten any less it would of ended with another trip to hospital for malnutrition. You told me I was fat yet I hardly ate anything because I was so low the thought of food made me feel sick. I believed I wasn’t wanted in the world- not by anyone.Many nights my pillow would be soaked with tears and blood. You told me I was ugly and that nobody loved me. The ones who have to find someone to put down each day and the criticise till they are a shadow of themselves. I was told millions of ways to deal with people like you- you know the ones. But I wasn’t- I was on the sidelines watching in- watching and wishing it would all just stop. A stupid rumour that led to too many tears and heartbreak.Īt one point I would cover it up and pretend it didn’t bother me- I would laugh with everyone acting like I was in on the joke. To make me feel like overdosing was a good idea. To make me feel like I could no longer cope. It just took one rumour- one stupid rumour sent around by a stupid girl to make me want to give it all up. But you drove me to the edge- again and again and again. Besides I couldn’t let you see you was winning. But still I went to school- despite it all I put my education first. I am constantly trying to understand why? Why me? What did I ever do to you? I just wanted to scream out every day. You drove to a point I thought I could never return from. The way you would spread horrible rumours around. You made me feel worthless- the way you taunted me and the way you called me names. ![]() You drove me to the extremes to help me survive- drove me to tearing my skin with whatever I could get my hands on- making myself bleed to project the pain- the unbearable emotional pain onto my skin- into something I could deal with. You tore apart my soul- made me want to no longer live. Are you fully aware of the damage you have caused me? The pain I went through every single day? Are you subconsciously wishing to be me? IS the reason you made my life hell- Targeted me because you were Jealous… I thought I would never escape. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |